Funny quotes contd..

1. Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did. Bette Davis
2. By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. Mark Twain
3. California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange. Fred Allen
4. Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely. P. J. O'Rourke
5. Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. Steven Wright
6. Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. Steven Wright
7. Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. Jay Leno
8. Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. George Burns
9. Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. Robert Benchley
10. Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin
11. Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. Josh Billings
12. Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them. P. J. O'Rourke
13. Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. Steven Wright
14. Fashions have done more harm than revolutions. Victor Hugo
15. Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. Bill Cosby
16. Food is an important part of a balanced diet. Fran Lebowitz
17. For your information, I would like to ask a question. Samuel Goldwyn
18. Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. Mark Twain
19. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain
20. God did not intend religion to be an exercise club. Naguib Mahfouz